“He’s an older dog, and past visits have already identified conditions,” the vet said, gently but with an unyielding inflection to her voice and demeanour. “Mr. Beasley will not fully recover from these injuries, and his quality of life would be severely compromised even if he can be saved.”
“Is he in pain right now?”
“I’ve given him a morphine injection to stop the seizures and reduce the pain. He’s only partially conscious, so I don’t think he’s in severe pain.”
“Can we wait for Harry and Bernice?”
“Of course.” She held him in her gaze, and again, he sensed understanding, sadness… and conviction.
It’s the right thing to do, he thought.
“Ask them to bring Mr. B’s blanket or bedding, if they can,” she advised.
“Can I stay here, with him?”
“Of course.”
Alone, Buddy stroked Mr Beasley’s snout, his fingers gliding over the sedated dog’s eye and ear. It felt to Buddy as if he were defining Mr. Beasley by running his hand lovingly over the dog’s fur, and that in an incomprehensible way Mr. Beasley was comforted by the simple gesture. Not taking his eye off Mr. Beasley, Buddy fished his mobile out of his jeans pocket and punched in the Sandersons’ number.
“Buddy?” Bernice shuddered when she answered. “This is awful! Just awful!”
“How’s Harry?”
“Holding up,” she said bravely. “But he’s a mess. I don’t think he’ll ever get over this.”
“The vet is recommending euthanasia,” Buddy said. “I’m sorry, Bernice. I’m so sorry.” The silence lengthened between them, an emptiness that couldn’t be bridged, distance expanding into an immeasurable void. “I think it’s the right thing,” Buddy said at last.
“Of course,” she agreed. “Should we be there?”
“I think Harry would want to be with Mr. Beasley. The vet suggests bringing his favourite blanket or something that will comfort him.”
“Of course. I’ll talk to Harry. We’ll come right away.”
“Neither of you has to come, Bernie, but I think it would be best.”
“Thank you, Buddy,” she said. “You’re a good man. A true friend.”
It took them half an hour to make their way up Maple Lane to the vet’s office. Mr. Beasley whimpered softly, as if in a dream, when they entered the room, his tail clanging a couple of times against the stainless steel table. Harry tottered over, leaving his walker at the door. Bernice spread a frayed and faded blanket over the white sheet that already covered the dog.
“Ah!” Harry mourned shakily, laying his hand on Mr. Beasley’s head. “This makes me sad, my friend. But we can’t call you back, can we? So it’s best we let you go, eh? It’s best we set you free.”
“Hello Harry, Bernice,” the vet said, entering the room. They nodded. She waited, allowing them to adjust to her presence, gather their thoughts, and make their minds up one last time.
“It has to be done,” Harry said after a while. “By god, I wish he’d outlived me, and by rights he should have. But we have to let him go.” Bernice, standing on the other side of the examination table, placed her hand over Harry’s, sighing as the vet loaded a syringe with its lethal dose of phenobarbital.
“It will be painless,” she promised, coming up beside Harry. “You tell me when.”
After a few seconds, Harry nodded curtly.
Inserting the syringe into the catheter, the vet pushed in the plunger.
“He woke up for a second,” Harry said later. “He wasn’t afraid. He trusted us and thanked us. He knew how much we loved him in the end, and went peacefully.”
Harry sighed. “But me, I’m ashamed… of my helplessness, my betrayal of his trust.”
“Hush, love.” Bernice pleaded.
“He’s in the murals now,” Harry pronounced. “With Gypsy and Arthur. Maybe you’ll see him there, Buddy. In Mural #36, I betcha. You’ll see him there.”
When he got home, Buddy wrote in his journal:
The Depths of Hope It’s sorrow to watch, a best friend go Shrivelling up… dying One last breath, Then another, At a time. Muscles slack, neurons shriven The infolding Of an eternity, Silencing all Life’s commandments. To witness finality, Spirit’s disentanglement From flesh and bone, The body become An inert testament… To what once was But now is gone Who-know-where Forever?
Next: Assisted Dying