You okay? he texted.
A minute later, his phone rang. “Hi,” he said.
For a few seconds, silence. Then: “What a fucking mess, Buddy! What an effing mess! I just want to find a hole and go bury myself in it.”
“Want to come over?”
“Your place is a hovel, not a hole,” she quipped bravely. “And the last person Harry and Bernice are gonna want to see on their property right now is me.”
He couldn’t visit her. Not unless Avi was chained up in the backyard. “Want to meet somewhere?” he suggested. “Nic’s maybe?”
They both liked the funky little café and bookshop a couple of blocks away on Oak Street, but they’d never met there. “Okay,” she said. “See you there.”
“Huh? Let’s go together.”
“See you there,” she ended the call.
A window table was available when he got to Nic’s, so Buddy draped his jacket over one of its chairs, then made his way up to the counter and ordered a couple of lattes. He wasn’t sure Andrea shared his addiction to them; it didn’t matter. As he was heading back to the table, she arrived. He dropped their coffees and hurried over to greet her.
Andrea stiffened, not giving in to it, when Buddy hugged her. “We’ll get through this,” he promised, holding her at arm’s length.
“You talking ‘we’ as in you and me; or ‘we’ as in you helping me get through my shit?”
“Sorry?” he stepped back.
“What I have to do right now, Buddy, is fix this situation as best I can. I don’t need anybody’s pity. That’s the last thing I need. It just makes things harder.”
“Pity! Is that what you think I’m offering?”
“Looks like it. Feels like it.”
He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. “Come on. Let’s sit down,” he invited, leading her toward their table.
“I’m sorry, man,” she said. “Didn’t mean to bite your head off… We can leave that up to Avi, I suppose,” she quipped bitterly. “But this is going to take every shred of strength I can muster… And I need my friends to be strong with me.”
“Got it,” he reached across, taking her hands in his.
“He’s more than just a dog, Buddy. He’s not a pet. He’s like an extension of my spirit, and I’m part of his. Can you understand that?”
“I think so, yes.”
“Thanks.”
They sat in silence. Buddy sipped at his latte.
“People think of him as vicious. I get it. What happened today seals it. But there’s another side to him they don’t see. He’s playful, devoted, fearless. There’s nothing Avi wouldn’t do to protect me. I respect him for that. Nothing he won’t do to make me happy… it may sound weird, but I love him, actually. Love his pure spirit… And as you may have noticed, I don’t have a whole bunch of friends besides Avi.
“But that’s what Mr. Beasley was to Harry,” she said. “That little dog was his best friend…”
“Best companion,” Buddy corrected. “That’s how Harry describes Mr. B. Says the way we love dogs and they love us back is ‘pure’, not complicated and screwed up like almost every human relationship.”
“Yeah,” she agreed sadly. “That about sums it up.”
“He’ll understand,” Buddy ventured. “The toughest part of Harry is his heart.”
Andrea shook her head. “Even if he pretends, he won’t be able to look at me without reliving what happened out there today. Even if he’s kind enough—and he just might be—he’ll have to forgive me for this every time he sees me, Bud. And I’ll have to try to forgive myself, too.
“Add Avi to that picture, and, well, there’s just no way I can do that to Harry.”
She looked out the window sadly, collecting her thoughts. “You know what I have to do, eh?”
Don’t be the first to say it,’ he met her gaze.
“How can I help, Andy?”
“Be with me on this. Understand, even if you can’t forgive. Appreciate Avi’s beauty because of what he is to me—even if you’re afraid of him.”
Buddy sighed.
“Can you do that, man?”
He nodded. Squeezed her hand.
“I have to put him down,” she said. “And I need someone to understand how hard that’s going to be. Even after Mr. Beasley. Even though I know he’s a public danger; even though I’m pregnant and afraid of how he might react to the baby… despite all that, it’s still a fucking betrayal, and I’m dreading how he’ll be trusting me right up to the final moment.”
He nodded again.
“You want me to be there?” he offered.
“I want you to do it.”
“Huh!”
“If you can,” she backed off.
“But he won’t let me near him, Andrea. How am I going to do this if he’s… you know… reacting?”
“I’ll administer a sedative. He won’t even be conscious.”
“Where are you going to get the medications you need, Andy?”
“Don’t ask.”
Jesus! he thought. “You sure about this?”
She nodded once, without hesitation.
“Okay,” he agreed… reluctant, but trying not to show it.
“Thank you.” Andrea squeezed his hand.
Next: Free At Last